Diapers. They have become, seemingly overnight, a massive part of my life. it is weird to have your schedule dominated by another person's digestive system. Daiper changes are frequent. They are messy. God gave little boys an extra piece of equipment that makes them seem far more hostile in the diaper changing process. It's like he's trying to ward me off. While changing my son is one of those bonding experiences, I do have to say that all in all, it is fairly unpleasant. And this is before his diapers have really started to stink.
Knowing the unpleasantness, and the hazards that go along with the process, I at times put off changing him. I see the discomfort in his face, I hear the rumble in his belly, I feel the diaper filling and I say to myself "this can wait until after he eats". Of course, as someone who has spent little time with infants I had to be schooled on a couple things. Not only is my son's wallowing in his own filth disgusting conceptually, it is also not good for him. That is, I learned, where diaper rashes come from. I'm learning that the dirty diaper really is something that should be attended to with as much haste as possible. I'm sure I'll feel this with more urgency once odor enters the picture.
I am, by nature, an avoider. I don't like conflict. This might be a byproduct of years of being wrong about things. It may also come from growing up in a place where there was a fair share of yelling. Whatever the case, I prefer compromise, silence, or out right retreat in many scenarios. I don't think of myself as a coward (though I might be), I just truly believe that most conflicts can be avoided...
... but some can't. Some conflicts grow when they are left unattended. Some breed new problems. Some leave us wallowing in our own mess (see the connection now?). How many things in my life could have been avoided if I would have dealt with conflict when it first presented itself? How many relationships could have been salvaged if I had spoken up about what I was feeling, particularly when I was angry or disappointed? How many fires could have been put out when they were just sparks?
It takes courage to deal with issues before they become problems. For me, it means risking being wrong (which might be my least favorite thing). It means risking embarrassment or hurting someone else's feelings. I realize some people don't think about these sorts of things, but I think most do. It also takes foresight to realize that things can snowball on you if you let them.
The slightly ironic thing about this is that I dno't have this problem when it comes to organizations or structures. I usually jump right into structural conflicts. It's only when they become personal that I have difficulty.
So this is one of my blind spots and I always try to work on my blind spots. Can I deal with cries before they become a rash? I guess I just have to risk getting peed on. End metaphor.