Transitions

from seminarian to alumnus

When I woke up this morning, I hadn't graduated from seminary. When I go to bed, I will be a graduate of San Francisco Theological Seminary. Weird, huh?

It hasn't exactly sunk in that I'm done. It is a strange feeling of accomplishment that I have. Strange, because I worked so much harder the first few years than I did this past year. In some ways, I feel like I have been done academically for awhile.

The seminary presdiednt makes a comment about conferring upon us the rights and privileges that come with a Masters of Divinity. I've been wondering what those rights and privileges are. Low wages? Session meetings? The frustrations of matching your "call" and your gifts? Or is it the privileges of getting to be with people in their lowest moments. The privilege of baptizing an infant. The privilege of baptizing an adult. The privilege of presiding over a funeral.

Well, the fact of the matter is it is about both the good and the bad. I feel like I'm stepping into a really big world today. Our baccalaureate speaker talked about us being threads in a tapestry. I feel that right now. A lot of people have accomplished what I have. I feel like I joined a fraternity this morning, and I don't mean that in a perjorative sense. People have asked me if I feel any different. I typically respond with a joke about having mastered divinity. The truth of the matter is that I do feel different. I have been changed. I'm coming out of the furnace. I'm sure I'll have a similar feeling after being ordained.

I never really took the time to think about what this day might mean to me. For many, it brings anxiety. Leaving the relative safety of seminary for who knows what. I have the fortune of knowing where I'm going (I'll save that for another post). Finishing seminary feels like taking the scenic route home. Maybe finishing at THIS seminary feels like taking the scenic route home. I don't know.

This is rambly. I'm pretty tired and really emotional. More of both than I expected. My life is different and I wanted to write about it. I didn't really know what was going to come out, I just knew I wanted to write about it. I am a seminary graduate.

I have mastered divinty! 

from Paris Hilton to Mumia Abu Jamal

So recently two efforts have been circulating around the internet to keep people out of jail. Let's deal with the first thing first. The following is the Paris Hilton petition. I have highlighted the portions I find particularly comical:

To:
The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.

Hilton is notable for her leading roles on the FOX reality series The Simple Life and in the remake of the Vincent Price horror classic "House of Wax". In addition to her work as an actress, she has achieved some recognition as a model, celebrity spokesperson, singer, and writer. (sidebar: didn't she receive recognition for something else?)

As most of America now knows, Ms. Hilton was just charged in a Los Angeles court with DUI and sentenced to 45 days in Century Regional Detention Facility in California beginning on or before June 5, 2007.

We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong. We do not support drunk driving or DUI charges. Paris should have been sober. But she shouldn't go to jail, either.

As depicted on Friday night's episode "Nancy Grace" on Headline News (May 4, 2007), countless celebrities have been "slapped on the wrist" for similar incidents recently. Nick Nolte, Mel Gibson, Tracy Morgan, Wynonna Judd, to name a few, were arrested and never did a day in jail after their initial arrests for drunk driving /DUI /DWI charges. Rappers Busta Rhymes and Eve still walk free after both being arrested for the same charges as Ms. Hilton just this past week. Brandy's California Highway accident, although no proof of DUI was evidenced in her accident, resulting in the death of a young wife and mother in California, yet Brandy walks free as of today, never doing any time and A WOMAN HAS BEEN KILLED most likely due to her reckless driving!

Yet, Paris Hilton did not hurt, injure, or kill anyone or anything, and yet she must do jail time.


This petition is to ask Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris Hilton for her mistake. Please allow her to her return to her career and life. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't hurt or kill anyone, and she has learned her lesson. She is sincere, apologetic, and full of regret for her actions as she explained tearfully to the Judge handling her case in court yesterday.She is distraught and understandably afraid.  (worl'd's tiniest violin playing for Paris Hilton)

WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT to save our Paris from ending up at the Century Regional Detention Facility! Please sign to tell The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of the State of California, to think about the welfare of this young woman who has made a mortal error and deserves a second chance like so many others in our great nation have been served with after a mistake they have made . If the late Former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late Former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s), we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well, and we hope and expect The Governor will understand and grant this unusual but important request in good faith to Ms. Paris Whitney Hilton.  (hilarious!!!!) 

Okay, I obviously don't have much sympathy for PH. Forty-five days in resort, girl's camp prison don't strike me as too bad. I hope Arnold pardons her sometime in September. That would be funny.

What's not funny is an email I received from a friend of mine this week. I'm not sure if the Mumia Abu Jamal case was big on the West Coast, but it was a big deal in PA for awhile. Here's the letter I received:

Hi Friends,

Perhaps you may know about Mumia Abu Jamal and his situation, why he is an icon and/or his writings.  In the last few weeks I have been meeting with a group of folks from around Pittsburgh (including Say, my housemate) who are quickly trying to raise awareness on his case because he is going in front of the 3rd Circuit Court  of Appeals in Philadelphia on May 17.  If his case is approved, he will be able to attempt to have his case overturned again.  If he is denied, Governor Rendell will probably seek a moratorium and he could be killed within a year of the decision.

I find this case of great importance not only because Mumia has maintained his innocence of killing a police officer since arrest in December 1981, but because of its implications in the fairness of the law. 

The United States Justice System is supposed to stand on 4 main pillars of justice.  The right to 1) a jury amongst peers, 2) an impartial judge, 3) evidence of facts,  and 4) a competent lawyer.  Mumia received none of these.  Instead...

1) In a city (Philadelphia) of 40% African Americans, only one jury member was black.

2) The judge had been heard by another judge and a stenographer as saying "I'm going to help them (the jury) fry the n******."

3) There was no ballistics test on Mumia after the crime was committed.  The bullet in the officer was not the type that went in the gun Mumia legally owned

4) The lawyer assigned to Mumia went in front of the judge asking to be removed from the case because of his own incompetencies and lack of resources.  The judge denied the request.

This case is of great importance, not because of only one man who had was unjustly convicted, but because of its implications for justice in a racist system.

I strongly urge you to raise your voice against injustice in our world and take part in the vigil to occur on May 16th.  Thanks for reading and for your consideration in taking part in such important event(s).  I realize some of you are not in the Pittsburgh area, but if these issues are important to you, I am sure there is a group meeting that is also concerned about the life of Mumia and the cause of peace and justice on his behalf.

Now this is a real issue of justice that will not get the kind of press that Li'l miss "American Celebrity" will receive, but it is a matter of a man's life and it seriously questions the integrity of our justice system. I'm proud that I have freinds whose faith compels them to seek out justice for those whose voices go unheard. I hope any readers I have that are in the Pittsburgh area will attend the planned vigils. My own faith compels me the see what I can do to be of service.

Let justice roll down like water...

from significance to insignificance (and hopefully back again)

Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile. I know I have a few occasional readers whose insomnia must be cured.

My life has become rather tumultuous lately. My family feels like a load of bricks on my back. My wife and I just had an attempt to buy a house completely fall apart on us. My last semester of seminary is quickly drawing to a close, a fact that is supposed to be bringing me copious amounts of joy, but currently is just bringing anxiety...

On top of all of this is the pesky issue of my role in the world. in a sermon I gave a couple of weeks ago, I described poverty as a lack of options. I am not poor. I have a lot of options, which brings up the issue of responsibility. What does one do with the options they have? How do I contribute to God's plan for the world?

In 2004 when I entered seminary, we were asked a question: what did you leave behind to come to seminary? I was reminded recently that my answer was that I gave up significance to come to seminary. I gave up the significance I had in the ministries Iwas involved in. I gave up the significance that one has in the lives of others when they see you on a day-in, day-out basis. I gave up my own sense of who I was and moved 3,000 miles across the country. In some ways, this has been the best part of the experience. What resulted was that I got to re-invent myself (to some extent) as a version of myself that is closer to what I want to be. The shadow side of this is that I also (unconsciously) drank several kool-aids: the Presbyterian Kool-Aid, the Reformed theology Kool-aid, the liturgical worship Kool-aid, and worst of all, the west coast kool-aid. I've started buying into systems that I formerly criticized. Grantted I still criticize, but I feel like criticism has more credability when you critique from within.

So what was that long, rambly proceeding paragraph about? Well, I left Pittsburgh and felt like I left a  piece of my significance (identity?) behind. In the process of three years of seminary, I have gained new significances and identity markers which I now must leave behind again. I feel like people on the west coast have gotten to know a better version of me. Of course, that "better" version is only better (if he really is) because of maturing that has occurred here. For some strange reason, I have this fear that the things I learned and the places where I have grown will suddenly disappear as sson as I see the sign that read "Welcome to Pennsylvania".

Of course that's ridiculous. No one ever said fears have to be rational. I know that I will be the me that I am, the me that is growing, has grown, and will grow. It feels easier to wear the mantle of leadership out here. No one has baby pictures of me here. No one has seen me do stupid skits. Except my wife (on both counts).

The thing forme to focus on right now is what it is that actually gives me significance. It isn't a title, a degree, an ordination. It is my capacity to love and to be loved. I could certainly use some work on both of those areas...