Transitions

from deeply cynical to audaciously hopeful?

So a bunch of my friends went to see Barack Obama speak in Oaklnad this weekend. I, instead, went to a beer festival. I think I chose wisely.

Seriously though, everyone has jumped onboard the Obama bandwagon. I admit, I like the guy alot. The Audacity of Hope is the next book on my "to read" list. Maybe that will put me over the edge.

So why the cynicsm, you ask. Well, a couple of things. First off, I have only gotten to vote in two presidential elections. I'll end the suspense now and say the guy I voted for lost both times. Most of the time when I look at poliitcs, it looks like the system is designed for the sole purpose of keeping certain people and interests in power and in the spotlight. I have to say, of all the casualties that have taken place in during the Bush administration, my loss of trust in the system may be the most personal one.

I guess that leads to my second misgiving; Barack Obama is a politician. Yes, he says the right things. He's inspiring, he seems to be able to unify the nation and he wants the war to end. All of those are good things. Still, politicians are trained to say things people want to hear. He's charismatic. The danger with charismatic people is that they can get by on their charisma without actually following through on promises.

I guess the other thing is the moral that I took from David Kuo's book Tempting Faith. We've put to much faith, hope, trust...whatever in politicians and politics to make the world a better place when in reality, it has been grassroot efforts, churches, community organizations, and inspired individuals that have changed the world. While I don't agree with Kuo's conclusion that Christians should disengage with politics, I do believe that we already have someone to inspire us, someone we can put all of our hopes and trust in. Politicians will always let us down.

With all that said, if the election was today, I would most certainly vote for Obama. And I think I could do so without feeling like I was voting for the lesser of two evils. My hope is that he really is all that he claims to be. I hope that he can lead the nation in a way that is not polarizing. I hope he can lead in a way that is truly bi-partisan. I hope he can continue to inspire people the way that he has pretty much since the Democratic National Convnetion in 2004 where he gave one of the best political speeches I have ever heard. So I support Barack, but I'm not holding my breath.

from "Weston Global" to "Weston Local"

Pretty much since the Holidays, I have been dealing with family stuff. Well, I've been dealing with it at times, and other times I have not, both with traumatic effect. There are some hard things in my family history. Since mid-January I have been discussing these hard things with a counselor. He has helped me a great deal. He has helped me realize that I have some compulsive behaviors that have developed as coping mechanisms from my childhood. Those things, which may have served as adaptations when I was in my youth are now maladaptive as an adult. For some reason it is hard for me to accept that my childhood may have been traumatic. I have this illusion that everyone grew up with the kind of stuff that I did. Even now I hesitate to use the word "abuse". Maybe more folks have had abusive childhoods than I think and we have all coped in different ways.

In any case, I have been thinking about this in terms of my re-entry into family life in Pittsburgh. One of the best things that has come out of counseling is the realization that I need to create very firm boundaries with my family when I move back to Pittsburgh. By the time we move home, Marnie and I will have spent more time as a married couple in California than we did in Pittsburgh. People really don't know us as a couple. We have developed habits and rhythms. We have a culture. It has some flaws, but overall, it is a healthy culture where we are both nurtured and are happy. One of my main priorities when I move home will be to protect that culture. I'm not saying that our marriage is an impenetrable fortress...well, in some ways I am. Or at least I want it to be. My point is that there are alot of pathologies that I would like to protect our relationship from. I am growing in an understanding that as a husband, and hopefully sometime soon as a father, my primary concern is to protect my household and sometimes that means protecting them from my family. That's a hard thing for me to say. I don't want to close the door to my extended family. My deepest desire is to be a healing presence in my family, but I have some of my own healing to do first. Some of that includes expressing some anger, and I'm not good at that.

Anyway, like all of my thoughts, this one is still in motion.  I guess what I'm dealing with is the definition of "family". I guess I've been dealing with that for awhile.

from blogger to typepad

I have been blogging for about a year now. Sometimes I blog about silly things (like Snakes on a Plane, which, by the way, turned out to be totally awesome). Sometimes I have blogged about my struggles with faith, church, Presbyterianism, etc...The only thing I have been consistent about in blogging is my inconsistency. That will probably not change. I may not be making a shift in the frequency of my blogging, but I am hoping that this new blog represents a shift in the quality of my blogging.

With that said, I am stepping up to the plate and making a typepad blog. I am calling it "Transitions" because at this point in my life it makes sense (as "Faith's Edge" made sense a year ago). The next few posts will be about the various life transitions that I am going through. I'm not abandoning Faith's Edge all together, but it will probably be more of a reference point than anything else; a way of showing that I have grown or not grown in some of the key areas of my life.

So, what do I want this refocused blog to be? Well, BRC has been talking alot about blogging as prayer. I guess that's a bit of what I'm doing here. Some of it is a flashier way of journaling, which has historically been one of the best ways for me to connect with God in full introvert mode. Sometimes I'll just vent, but I also want to be more conscious about sharing the books, songs, films, tv shows, and articles that bless me, amuse me, annoy me, puzzle me, or just pique my interest.

I guess I also want this to be a little bit of a documentary. I am moving out of one very significant phase of my life (the seminary phase) into the beginning of being a full time "professional" ministry-type. It feels like a huge move. I know it is what I have been working for, but it feels huge. I want to walk you through that transition and talk about the struggles I'm experiencing, especially for those of you who won't get to walk along side me on the next step.

So enjoy the new blog...